Time for another Saturday Check-In...Grad School Edition.
This week I attended my first of two graduate school classes. All this week I've been texting and calling my undergrad friends telling them I was nervous. After living in central Illinois for 5 years, I had almost completely lost my familiarity with Chicago. On top of that, I knew I would be one of the youngest and most inexperienced people in the class. I remember going around introducing ourselves and hearing all the other students' stories. I was in class with professionals in their late 20s to early 40s who have had years of experience related to their major. Me, a fresh-faced first year without a detailed plan on how I would use this masters towards my professional goals, started doubting. Was this the right path for me? Would I be digging myself more into an abyss of debt and loans? Was I just getting a masters to have one? Was staying in school a result of fear of the real world? So many thoughts crossed my mind as the conversations pursued. When it was my turn to present myself, I remember not mentioning my minor in music as well as many of my experiences were music related. I was afraid of the irrelevance of that. Even though that is what defines and shapes my experience, maybe I would be further questioned and pressure to pursue other interests. So with music as my main passion and ultimate career goal, I spoke about other broad interests of mine. I explained the importance of learning and developing a path while pursuing this degree. It seemed to work and there were some other younger voices that said the same thing. The take-home reading is gonna be grueling and I am the first to give a 30 minute presentation due next week. Not to mention, I haven't even started the second class yet. But for now, despite my nerves and prior doubts, I am sticking with this for at least a semester. If it does not work, it won't work. But at least I will try. I applied and got in this selective school so I'm going to stick it out as long as my heart desires. And with the benefit of residing back in the Windy City, I want to take advantage of the urban atmosphere and network. I hope to gain the confidence and foundation that I need to take me to the next step in life. I have gone so far and there's no turning back. I may not be at that level I see myself being at, but I know I will get there someday and this time is a testament to it.
~L~
Songs listened to while writing this post:
Bobby McFerrin "Circlesong 6," Broken Bells "Sailing to Nowhere," Sugababes "Follow Me Home"
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